We... The Shameful people of India - part 2

May her soul rest in peace and God give strength to her family. But... this may sound brutal, but she is better-off dead than alive..... for her sake..... and for the sake of the revolution. 

• Had she lived, the Government would have taken the matter to courts and the rape case would've gone on for 6 years resulting in max only 7 years imprisonment for a few of 6 goons. Others would've spoken got fewer for giving statements to save themselves. Now, they're all up to 14 years (or maybe death)
• In every hearing of the case and pre-hearing discussions, she would have had to re-live the rape 100 times only causing her more torture. 
• She could never ever be able to live a normal life or an hour without nightmares.
• Media would've asked her questions which would've made her feel that she had rather died.

But, more importantly

• The government would have side-tracked the matter by saying that she's being taken care of and justice will be served. The media attention would have moved to this specific case, then to page 5 and then lost. We would've forgotten. The fucking government doesn't understand that this is NOT about this one rape. This is about every single girl in this country. This puzzle cannot be fixed one piece at a time. 

For the amount of grief I have for this incident, I am wondering to myself that I don't even know her real name. She is most commonly addressed as "Delhi Rape Victim" or "Damini", but I have not come across her real name yet and frankly I don't care. Her name "Delhi Rape Victim" addresses the pain of thousands of girls in Delhi, who have been raped or fear walking on the streets alone in Delhi. This fight is fer every one of them and this name works for me. 

Revolutions need a Legend, a Leader and a Trigger. Her rape gave the Trigger, Her death has given us the Legend. Now, all we need is a Leader to take this forward before the flame dies.

We... the shameful people of India

Just read about the gang rape in a bus in Delhi... This is pure evil... I am at a loss of words and my heart is filling up with anger... anger for I don't know who or what... anger on the society that teaches us from the day of birth that the bloody male child is a superior being or angry with the government which is doing nothing to control female infanticide which proves the point and create an imbalanced sex ratio.

I don't hold the 6 goons responsible for this because this happens every day 100 times, 100 different places, in bedrooms, in offices, in hotels, in cars, in fucking graveyards... this one sure is getting media attention because of the amount of brutality involved. 

We need to fix our homes. We need to teach gender equality in our homes, to our children. We need to teach gender agnostic respect for others in our homes. We need to work on our value system because our value system has gone wrong along the way and we are not willing to fix it even in this so-called 21st century. 

We are a mythical society. Hypocritical. Prejudiced. And full of Bull Shit... People who like to chose their own partner are frowned upon and not accepted in society. These things force people to not go into relationships and hence build up frustration. And some girl present at the wrong time at the wrong place has to pay for it. 

Girls are said to have asked for it themselves by wearing what they wear. Why shouldn't they wear what they want to wear? Healthy flirting goes on and will always remain. But what makes people think they can get in somebody's pants without their fucking consent... 

This is a message from a father of 2 children (both happen to be girls), who does not want another child just because he wants a boy. He loves to decorate dolls with his daughters and also loves to play soccer with them. But, he does not let them believe that any guy is superior or inferior to them. 

This is crazy... I feel like my head is going to blow after reading what all I read about this Delhi incident...

Who stole my Turkey!!!

Hype, a couple of parties, a lot of hoo-lalala, and 'then' there was the shopping...

Shopping for what I needed and shopping for what I did not need. Shopping for things I would have shopped in summer and shopping for things I would have shopped in 2012. shopping even

for things I would have shopped in 2022.

The retailers and manufacturers combined are blackmailing us with prices that we will not get for the rest of the life and forcing us to buy stuff now. So, the question is when I shop Black Friday starting 2 Fridays in advance and run out of all money in banks and credit, where do I buy my Turkey from?

So, I google'd Black Friday Deals on Turkeys... and there were no early bird deals on the Turkey. Going with the flow of not buying anything that did not have a Black Friday deal and of course an empty wallet, Thanksgiving went pretty vegetarian... I promised myself the Turkey over the weekend.

but, Voila or Damn ?!!? my paycheck arrived that night and shame on me for checking for it after spending 10 oz. of good time with Jack and a few more friends. So, I hit the road friday morning and my Turkey promise went down with Jack in the early morning piss.

Now that the Turkey is already stolen from my Thanksgiving weekend by various marketing gurus, with an empty wallet and a heavy heart, I say to you in the words of ... myself

--- les marchés libres (free markets)...

10-point program to a Lazy Weekend

Writing after a long time. I hope this is useful to all guys who are like-minded with me.

This is a guide for the guys who deep down inside their hearts are nothing but lazy couch potatoes, but are forced by the pressures of job, family and society to work hard on weekdays and weekends... Work here, need to necessarily means job, but any work like cleaning up the car, drive to grocery, take kids to a play ground/area, etc, etc..

Now, I understand that not any of the work can be compromised. You are or at least appear to be a responsible employee and a husband and would definitely like to keep it that way. But, would like to have one of the much longed lazy weekends where the bum inside you gets satisfied.

The key to a successful weekend that will satisfy the you inside is in following the 10 points explained below. The essence is to be captured in a typical project cycle

1) Scope and Goals definition-

Define Lazy for yourself - Lazy means different things for different people. Watching a romantic movie could be laziness for one and stress level 8 for another. So, define how your ideal lazy weekend would be.

List down the typical tasks (domestic - cleaning the house, grocery; work related - catch-up with offshore team, social - visit neighbor to check on his broken ankle, etc) and the potential tasks (shop for Sandra's b'day gift, etc) that you could expected to do over the weekend

2) Plan in advance

A successful lazy weekend cannot be achieved without a 2-4 week advance planning. The lazy weekend project gets into execution phase much before the actual target weekend.

Mark the items which can be completed after the weekend and the items which are potential risk of "fight with wife" if not completed by the end of the weekend (who wants a fight after a perfectly lazy weekend!!!)

Plan to complete all risk related items and spread them over the next 2 weeks so that the week before lazy weekend is not too stressed.

Plan non-risk items for post lazy weekend. e.g. shop for next season, car's oil change, plan for a vacation.

3) Identify risks and build a mitigation plan

Potential risks will be call from office for some urgent discussion, trigger of a family related discussion, no-activity complain from family, wife reminds you that weekend cooking is your job. The list could be different for different people, but a mitigation plan for each identified risk should be planned. Come on guys make this weekend a Pizza Hut weekend...

4) Allow room for minor contingencies

Now I've not seen many projects which go live with all that was planned for in the first baseline. It is ok to get out of the house for salt if it runs out, after all eating food without cooking is also a part of the plan.

5) Communication Plan

Start building a story around each item as much in advance as possible, e.g. now that I'm going to pick bread, I think I'll pick milk and eggs as well this week on Thursday itself. Am sure you can find room for them in the refrigerator. To boss - I don't think I'll be able to login to the call on Sunday night. I have a small get-together with old college friends on Sunday.

Timing is everything. You should start building a low self-esteem profile to gain domestic sympathy. Start building a high work stress profile during the week at work.

6) Have a Plan B

Make sure that you have some stale food at home and you get rid of it on Saturday morning without wife knowing about it. If for any reason, she forces you to break the lazy spell just blame that stale food that you ate on Friday night and make a big deal about it. She'll laugh on you for 2 years for eating stale food but hey... you got your lazy weekend and guess who had the last laugh.

7) Stick to Schedule

Don't let your plan go off-schedule because of mid-week work stress. If you have to complete the grocery by Thursday, do it even if you have to take the work call from Walmart. Because guess what- you step out once to get onions and there goes rest of the day driving from one place to another.

8) Revisit the plan during Execution Phase

Closely monitor your plan and your progress of your plan. Keep adding tasks as and when they occur. e.g. if there was a spillage of juice in the car, the car naturally needs to be cleaned inside-out on the weekend. Clean the car out of schedule mid-week. It does not need to be cleaned thoroughly. Just clean it enough to satisfy the naked eye and nose (of wife!!!)

9) Accept failure sportingly

If for any godforsaken reason, your plan fails, a relative drops in on Saturday evening and keeps sitting talking about Health Bill for 4 hours and all the work you did goes in vain, do not lose heart. Remember there are many more weekends to come, when the same plan could be re-executed.

10) Guard the plan even post-completion

What good is a plan if it cannot be reproduced or it results in post-execution argument. a successful lazy weekend is a reward for you and you only. Keep it close to yourself and your heart.

Well, all said I have never been able to gather enough courage to put this plan to execution till date, but if you try do let me know the results...

till later...

The Honest Thief

Back in 2002, I had come to Panchkula from Mumbai on a vacation right after the close of my MBA semester exams. I was lazing-off in the winter sun wishing why the sun shouldn't be like this all year and in Mumbai too, when my mom called from inside and asked me to get some grocery from the local market. Cribbing and grumbling about getting up and going out, I wore a jacket, straightened my hair with fingers, took the car keys and drove to the market. After the shopping, as I moved towards the car, I was bumped into by a couple of guys and I was like… watch your step boys and moved on dreaming about lying face down in the sun again in about 5 mins time.

So, in about 5 mins, I was back to my original routine of lazing in the sun, when there was another distraction. The newspaper boy wanted to get paid and I reached for my jacket to fetch my wallet out. Not there. I checked the inside pockets, jammies, boxers, my bed-side, car's dash-board, under the car seat… nowhere… I went back to the shop to check but no luck and I knew why 2 guys bumped into me out of nowhere. I was robbed!!!

Next what? What all did I have in there??? About 1000-1200 in cash, a debit card, credit card, College ID, PAN card, driver's license, a few important visiting cards, my return ticket to Mumbai, a dry-cleaning bill, Hanuman Chalisa, soap strips, and a little loose change. All panicked and not knowing where to start with, I called the bank to hold the cards and went to the dry-cleaners shop to identify my clothes so that he doesn't hand them over to the thieves.

I came home, had my lunch and was then going to the Police Station to get an FIR registered for the PAN card and the driver's license. As I drove the car out of the drive-way, I noticed a small brown duct-taped parcel lying in the garden between the marigolds and the dog-flowers. I picked the parcel and as I removed the duct-tape, I realized that it was my wallet all ruined now because of the tape and inside was everything that was there in my wallet without the money and with a small piece of paper saying, "I just needed the money"

It must've been a 2 hours since the theft took place and I had everything back except the money and a usable wallet, but the thief was considerable enough to check my address from the Driver's License and save me from the effort of running around getting new documents made and in turn saved me about 3-4 days of effort running around govt. offices and + Rs. 2-3K. In short, he saved my vacation.

And I was confused, very confused… My dilemma was whether to be angry with him for robbing me or being grateful to him for saving my vacation. In the end, I thought that he did bad, but he saved it for becoming very bad. I wanted to refer him with mixed feelings, angry while being grateful. So, I called him "The Honest Thief"

The Pseudo Democratic Indian

I've been following the US Presidential elections quite closely ever since it was a face-off between Hillary and Obama, through today, when Obama has made history by becoming the first Afro-American President. And I couldn't help but keep comparing this election to a typical Indian Prime Ministerial Election.

There are striking similarities and differences between the 2 election processes (which are reserved for a different blog) but there are things that strike me which are a doom for India and helps explain why America is a superpower.

When Hillary lost to Obama, she accepted defeat and suspended her (and her husband's) full support to him. Likewise McCain's first speech's gist is in quote "It's natural, tonight, to feel some disappointment. But tomorrow, we must move beyond it and work together to get our country moving again"** On the contrary, when Sharad Pawar was not made the Prime Ministerial candidate by CWC, he split and made a new party. Also, we see more than required walk-outs in our parliament just because it had been introduced by the other table. Basically, Indian politicians are afraid to accept defeat (read cry-babies) and get into a blame-game or obstructing any good to happen to India during the others potitical term.

So everybody, here we're talking about the difference in the maturity level of the Politicians. or should I say difference in maturity of Political system, as such.

Another significant difference in the 2 political systems is that there is a personality and that personality's ideals and agendas people vote for. People assess who is more capable of making a balanced decision in a time of crisis. In India, when we vote, normally we vote for a party, not knowing who is going to sit in the Prime Minister's chair. So, there's no personality or ideology to look up to. And a person you might have wanted the least on the Prime Minister's chair ends up on it. Basically, the Indians are kept in the blind and the country can be recklessly run by anyone who has the political backing.

Third difference is that when I vote for a party, my vote ends up in the pocket of someone I didn't want to see in power because of the alliances and cabinet sharing, and guess what no decisions are made because the 2 alliances have different ideology. In the US, if one votes for Democrats, the elected democrat votes for the Democratic candidate only. Doing otherwise is punishable in 24 states and is end of career everywhere else.

Here's another one - Despite the striking similarity between our caste system and racism in America, nowhere did we hear or find anyone speaking about race in his election campaign. And we have seen a history with a Black president in the seat with a popular majority. Had Obama asked for one vote because he was Black, he would have lost with a clean sweep from McCain. Cut! India - an old BSP election slogan goes - "Tilak, Tarazoo aur Talwaar, inko maare joote chaar" (Brahmans, Vaisyas and Kshatriya should be beaten up with shoes). The British taught us to divide and rule... and that's what our politicians have been doing by dividing people over caste, language, religion, state.

The good news is that there can be some reforms in the Indian election system to fix these problem, BUT, surprise!!! surprise!!! where is the political will? They don't want to fix something they have been using for years to manipulate the Indian masses.

The fact is that we are living in Pseudo Democracy, where we are made to believe that we are in a democracy, but everything around us is well manipulated by all politics that I admire each one of them for their contribution in maintaining this cloud of democracy over the minds of a billion people.


** source - McCain vows to help Obama (www.reuters.com)

The Fear Factor

I woke up in the morning today... ok... was woken up by the constant kicking by Tashvi to play with her. I took her to the park with swollen eyes and tossed her a few times in the air and felt deep rest listening to her constant laughter and the glitter in her eyes which wanted more... and as I passed through the park, a thought passed my mind and well.....

What kind of world have we brought our children in. We are fighting purpose-less no-holds barred fights, which seem endless. The people of one's own country are mercenaries killing in the name of religion without any demands... so, where's the motivation coming from ? Is it an act of religious revenge, someone's personal revenge, political motivation to defame a community or party before elections, plain hatred or just fun. 

Whatever it is, these misled gentlemen don't realize that they are helping no one but the enemies of India and they are destroying a country in which they intend to live forever. A country which has evolved as a powerful nation in it's 61 years of existence, a country that provides us (all religions alike) safe haven, a country that recognizes all men as equals. But, these gentlemen's acts are a lose-lose situation for everyone... And they and their community loses the most. 

They destroy India's image, society and culture, and jeopardize their own safety as well. After all, they too would not like to live in a world of chaos, civil war and army running around tanks in streets. 

They are destroying the respect of the India for the whole community by doing this in the name of religion. The Muslims of India are celebrated and respected by each and every Indian in the names of Dr. Kalam, Zakir Hussain, SRK, Aamir, Azhar, Pathans and the list is endless. These aimless boys are jeopardizing the respect for each and every individual mentioned above and their religion in the minds of India. 

What they are creating is fear... a fear which made me think twice before entering the FR mall on Sunday and making me reject the idea of going to a mall on October 2nd holiday. And the fear factor is gripping the nerves so tightly that I felt that our children will have to listen to war tales every day while growing amidst war, death, crime and a plummeting  economy. Did we do right by bringing her to life only to live a life in fear. 

The above thought passed through in a minute or so and I squeezed my little 7 month old tightly walking towards home with loads of sadness in my eyes. And with all her naughtiness, Tashvi showed her irritation and scolded me for trying to crush her... A single action of hers is enough to sends a happy vibe through my body and I entered home with a big smile, tossing her again wanting to hear her pure laughter one more time, while hoping for a better India for her.